Riding Out

 

A pleasant cycle through the trees is spoilt by the fuckwittery,

Both child and adult, big and small, a powder keg of lemmings all,

Way more than one man and his dog all wrapped up warm in winter togs,

The road a game of risk and chance, they must have hit the stupid branch,

 

It’s all a blur before my sight, the runners in their stupid tights,

Men on skates and kids on scooters, cars complaining with their hooters

It’s like some bizarre ‘Strictly’ dance, with everyone stuck in a trance,

Oblivious to all around, until they’re startled by a sound,

 

You’d single out if not so many, in Southpark this is where they’d kill Kenny,

The delivery man just stepping out was almost greeted with a clout,

And taxi man, his hazards flash, but don’t assume they’ll stop your crash,

I wish this latest of lockdowns could be enforced on Britain’s clowns,

 

Police with tasers, dogs that bite, to magic them all out of sight,

And lock them all inside their home, at least ‘til 2021,

So as the afternoon grows colder, I glance behind over my shoulder,

Then navigate through Kingston gate, to head back home and hibernate

What I'll Miss...

 

I’ll miss the squirrels

I’ll miss the birds

I’ll miss the taste of lemon curd

I’ll miss the feel of a good stretch

I’ll miss the dog being told to fetch

I’ll miss the seasons, hot or cold

I’ll miss not doing as I’m told

I’ll miss a slap-up Sunday roast

I’ll miss eating fish and chips at the coast

I’ll miss my cat chasing his tail

I’ll not miss feeling old and frail

I’ll miss the telling of a joke

I’ll miss being close to lovely folk

I’ll miss the feel of brand-new shoes

I’ll miss being tipsy with my favourite booze

I’ll miss the excitement of a kiss

But most of all I’ll miss all this…

Daydreaming Disaster

 

When 60-miles were almost done I was dreaming of bangers and mash,

The next I knew, down I flew and I'd had a nasty crash!

😂